I was on the road to financial stability but now even a trip to the grocery store gives me anxiety

Buying food for us has become a day full of sweet and discouragement.

My wife has this problem and heart problems, which means we have to choose between buying food or medicine. Before I go to checkout, I check out a few of my carts and weigh which items can be left out or replaced with cheaper items so we can last until payday.

For example, I skip the more expensive fresh vegetables and instead choose a frozen meal that has some vegetables in it.

How did I get here again? I went to college in my 30s to improve my finances, which worked temporarily. To have some peace for a few years of my stay. We were happy and comfortable and I can't think so hard about prioritizing needs. It wasn't as long as we were careless about our budget, but it was as long as it took.

At first, we did not increase the consumption of electricity: gasoline, food, etc. Then everything seemed to skyrocket at once: rent, bills, gas, insurance, medicine, clothes, toiletries, transportation costs, and certain groceries. And this process continues.

Any possibility of financial maneuvering was lost. Then we spent all our savings. Now all the money we earn is used just to survive. There are no additions.

Now in my mid-40s, I'm forced to save heavily and make choices that I've had to make since my low income.

I have the same job that I had five years ago and my wife has actually increased more than before, but it doesn't provide us with enough money as it used to.

We no longer attend the same kind of shared guests because I can't share what little food I can afford. It's discouraging to turn down their invitations, and I think because we love, we don't pre-invite enough to not.

We save on groceries and sometimes we eat from the bank, where we used to bail out while we were living on our own. We no longer have dinner dates, restaurants or going to the cinema. We also removed the telephone line and cable TV and now we use a mobile phone jointly. We no longer have savings.

There is no room left for more savings.

Sometimes I get angry because I feel taken advantage of by those in power – the nameless, faceless presence I feel in my own finances. I feel hopeless because I can't do anything - not for myself and not for my loved ones who are also struggling.

Try to take refuge in positive things wherever I can. I am thankful for my family, friends and my pet. I remind myself that at least I am employed and own my own car. I cling to these things, for the times when I want to pull myself together and pretend none of this is happening.

I hope the situation will improve. Not just for me, just for everyone like me who is just trying to make ends meet. Reducing rent, reducing food costs and increasing wages can be effective.

I hope that one day my wife and I will be able to save and see our loved ones who are scattered all over the country or even travel abroad.

Maybe one day we'll be able to walk into the grocery store and buy our favorite foods without having to put a single item back on the shelf.

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